Kelly McGonigal, a health psychologist, begins her talk with a confession: for years, she taught that stress is harmful, increasing the risk of illnesses like cardiovascular disease. However, new research has made her reconsider. She cites a study tracking 30,000 U.S. adults over eight years, which found that stress only increased mortality risk for those who believed it was harmful. Those who experienced high stress but viewed it as beneficial had the lowest risk of death, even lower than those with little stress. This suggests that the belief that stress is bad for health may be more dangerous than stress itself.
McGonigal then explores whether changing one’s mindset about stress can improve health. A Harvard University study tested this by teaching participants to see stress responses (such as a racing heart) as signs their body was preparing to meet a challenge rather than as symptoms of anxiety. Those who adopted this mindset experienced less anxiety and had healthier physiological responses. Their blood vessels remained relaxed rather than constricting, which can contribute to heart disease. This change made their stress response resemble what happens in moments of joy and courage, potentially improving long-term health outcomes.
She then introduces another perspective: stress fosters social connection. Oxytocin, often called the "cuddle hormone," is released during stress and encourages social bonding, empathy, and support-seeking behaviors. It also has physiological benefits, acting as an anti-inflammatory, keeping blood vessels relaxed, and helping heart cells regenerate from stress-induced damage. Engaging with others during stressful times releases more oxytocin, further strengthening the heart and making stress responses healthier.
Another study reinforces this idea. Researchers tracked 1,000 adults, analyzing their stress levels and time spent helping others. For every major stressful life event, the risk of death increased by 30%. However, individuals who regularly helped others showed no increased risk of dying due to stress. Caring for others built resilience, proving that stress alone isn’t harmful—how we respond to it determines its effects.
McGonigal concludes by emphasizing that stress provides access to our hearts—both emotionally and physically. Instead of avoiding stress, individuals should embrace it as a tool for courage and connection. Viewing stress as a helpful response empowers people to trust themselves in handling life’s challenges. The final takeaway is that pursuing meaning in life, even if it involves stress, is healthier than avoiding discomfort. By reframing stress positively, individuals can improve their health, strengthen relationships, and enhance resilience.
Guided Reflection on "How to Make Stress Your Friend"
While watching the TED Talk How to Make Stress Your Friend, use these quetions to record your observations and reflections. (The questions and exercise are based on a worksheet used in UVU's HLTH 1100 course.)
What was Kelly McGonigal’s admission about her previous beliefs on stress?
How did the perception of stress affect individuals in the study mentioned by McGonigal?
Summarize the results of the Social Stress Test.
What role does oxytocin play in the stress response, and what effects does it have on the body?
Explain the concept of “Caring Created Resilience” and its impact.
Over the next 24 hours, try rethinking your stress response. Additionally, perform at least one act of kindness or support. Reflect on your experience by addressing the following:
Describe a stressful situation you encountered and how you initially perceived it. How did shifting your mindset about stress alter your experience?
What specific act of kindness or support did you engage in?
How did this experience affect you physically and emotionally?
How can you apply this approach to managing stress in the future?
Keywords: stress perception, stress resilience, oxytocin, stress management, social connection
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